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tigeranne
Hi, this is TigerAnne here, with a little content warning. :O This update, and the next, will be set entirely in a prison. I doubt any of the questionable characters who read this story (Just kidding, ILU!) are shocked by that, but I just thought I'd say. We live in extremely polarised times.
Let's see how the Narrator handles dark topics like criminal reform.
Helluuuuuuuuuuuuu my lovelies! It is I, the Narrator! TA already apoiled the surprise a little, but eh. This is Monty's special assignment. The Law wanted to do something about the anti-social behaviour that was happening in town. They had built a correctional facility, for the successful rehabilitation of delinquents into peaceful society, but they needed a dedicated and competent project manager. Monty had actually been the project manager when the prison (let's be real, it's a slammer) was built, and Friday knew he was of a morally upright character. That's why Monty was chosen for this job, at least until he could find a replacement.
Delinquent number one was Helmut Hansledorff, who already had a vendetta against Monty for unknown reasons. He'd spread rumours and outright lies about Monty, in an attempt to get him ostrichized in the construction business. Now he was serving a sentence for trying to recruit people into organised crime. Remember he flat out asked Rilly to stop being a doctor and start driving a getaway car instead? She wasn't the only one he'd asked.
But then he was discovered to be a German spy. :O
The second delinquent was Leona Mickinlay. She was in for many unsuccessful assassination attempts. Being a flower-girl was the worst punishment she could think of, so that's what she was sentenced to do all day.
She'd been using her job as a nurse to get anaesthetics, pills and scalpels for her murder attempts.
It soothed Leona's hurt pride that her sister, Pernicity Rothgar, also went in. You'd probably think that Perri was doing time for grand theft of newspapers, but it was worse than that.
She had worked as an unlicensed plastic surgeon and given a lot of people illegal implants. One desperate Simstagram star got two mooring buoys put in her butt cheeks. That is very dangerous, because if you go swimming with that in your buttocks your bum will float, and your head will be forced under water.
Monty still had to go to work most days, so he was out for some hours. Friday had pulled some strings, and had gotten a very powerful and benevolent person to help oversee the project.
Monty: Behave yourself while I'm out making money, Helmut! Should I tell anyone in particular you said hi?
Helmut: *murmeln murren*
Here's the powerful and benevolent supervisor! It was..................... Dumbledore. In Isla Tropicana they have Landru, who's from the Space Trek and he's got lots of mysterious powers. Friday can't do any of that, but Dumbledore was willing to help out. It could mean stopping someone from becoming a dark powerful wizard.
Dumbledore has retired as headmaster at Hogwarts, for the same reason Friday isn't the Law anymore. It's a lot of responsibility to hold for 500 years! But now that's all McGonnagal's problem.
Perri liked working with clay. She was practicing new shapes she could implant in people when she got out.
Randy London: I found the last two hanging out at the karaoke bar.
Dumbledore: Excellent! I'll find something constructive for them to do at once!
Chandler's in for selling pixie sticks to drunk teens and claiming they were drugs from Star Wars. You don't want to know what Harry did, but it was extremely inappropriate, and would've been incredibly humiliating for Harry if he'd had any ability to be embarrassed.
Perri: You're not making boobs, are you?
Harry: It's for a body positivity art project. O:)
Dumbledore: You're supposed to be making plates! I'll transfigure you into one, and hang you on the wall over night, if you don't take your rehabilitation seriously!
Chandler: Wutz tha point in makin pot 'olders, when we ain't allowed to 'ave any? 'Ow do these fings even 'old any pot? There's no pockets innem!
Randy: I guess you've never taken a hot plate out of the micro?
Chandler: U trynna trick me into a confession? I've the rite to remain silent.
Henry and Morris, and Mrs. Cicerón whose name I can't remember (Andrea & Alejandra's mother) wanted to tour the prison. Dumbledore gently explained to them that he was not encouraging treating inmates as a zoo.
Perri: This is SO Guantanamo.
Leona: LOL yeah, cuz you've been there! It's not like you grew up in the suburbs.
Perri: Shut your face.
Monty decided it was time to get hairy. :D
Chandler: Am I gunna be in 'ere for twenty years?
Pernicity: Blonde Simon could use some work done. Maybe I should make muscle implants for guys next.
Chandler: 'Ow am I gunna meet babes in the nick? There's two 'ere, but they're psycho.
While the inmates were reflecting on their decision making, Dumbledore and Monty had locked up for the night and were hanging out in their break-room upstairs. Dumbledore hated the idea of living in a place of containment, so he was using his herbology and transmogrifation skills to turn it into a living space. Get it. A space that literally lives.
Over dinner they discussed Gato's Fury's latest album.
Monty: My uncle, or whatever he is, has played on a couple of their albums. He's the one who's got that crazy intricate guitar solo on High Miles.
Dumbledore: Orbin Meloncramp! So you're related to him? Could you get me his autograph, you think?
Dumbledore was in the mood to rescue someone, so he got a puppy that had been languishing in the pound in stasis. It's that one called Maxx. I don't know if you can see him playing with Morris. (The pup, not Dumbledore.) It was very dark outside the prison, because they hadn't gotten around to hanging up the floodlights yet.
Dumbledore was in the mood for trying something new!
Dumbledore: GLOOOOG.
Monty had to eat Second Dinner, because he got starved again the moment he transformed. He'd be very happy as a Hobbit.
Is there any headcanons about Dumbledore secretly being a werewolf all along?
Dumbledore: That was a much better way than how Lupin does it!
Germans have a cultural stereotype of being very clean and orderly, but Helmut may just have wanted to not leave any of his DNA.
Monty: Hello, mortal enemy who I just moved away from.
Monty: It's midnight, and Leona needs to sleep. She's got many flower bouquets to make tomorrow.
Randy had an idea for how to clean Morris up.
Randy: No, no! Not on me! I'm not the one who needs to shower!
Monty converted one of the empty cells (they were only at half capacity) as a skilling room. Dumbledore had one as well.
LOL you wouldn't think this was Dumbledore if I didn't tell you! I need that mod that lets werewolves have their own hair. OK, I've downloaded it! Took me long enough! You won't see it in this update, though. This is a few years ago in Monty's life.
A fresh tropical garden was starting to sprout around the tub. Dumbledore felt very connected to nature.
Helmut tried to escape from prison by pretending to clean Perri's shower. Yeah, I dunno either. Maybe he's like Murdoch from MacGyver, who can disappear down drains. That would be freaking creepy. I don't want to make a MacGyver Sim.
Chandler: I can't work t'day Randy. 'Elmut's sittin on me chair innit?
Randy: We'll just have to move Helmut then, won't we?
Oh BTW, Dumbledore's undercover as a writer. His new LTW is to be a Media Magnate, so he can control the spread of misinformation the Quibbler and Daily Prophet put out.
It had been two weeks since the last time Harry had passed out drunk with his undies around his ankles, and he was suffering withdrawals.
Awww, Rilly missed him! It was too bad she lived with his enemy.
Dumbledore found out Mazz had a brother called Benny, so he adopted him too. :)
Randy: If I could paint I'd do a still life of this.
The prisoners are only fed cold sausages with potato salad, and cereal with banana. They're not supposed to like being in prison, but they need vitamins to develop their brains and consequence skills.
Randy found a recipe for Mac and Cheese lasagna.
I could go for a slice of that right now. But I'm in "school" again. And will be for the next five hours. :(
LMAO I thought that was Phil! Dumbledore has the same PJs, and is a werewolf.
Monty told Dumble about his plans for the towns development. He wanted to build an Adventure Land with lots of dinosaur statues and stuff.
He needed a lot of Logic for his final promotion.
Dumbledore, you have puppies! Pet bricks are for allegic children.
Monty: See ya laterz, Harry. Remember to look at what you're working on today, and not so much at Perri's backside.
I skipped a chance card because HATEHATEHATE so here's Monty's second to final promotion! JimbiJimbi wanted to come over to see how he ran the place. That was ok, because she's in architecture too, and they've been talking about a future partnership for the good of the town.
She wasn't scared of werewolves.
Blonde Simon (he works with them) suddenly showed up, so Monty invited him in. He wanted snow.
Monty grew veggies in the back of the prison yard, and missed the Village.
OH NO, SUCH TRAGEDY! :D
Awwww, I've never seen puppies play together before! In Sims 2, I mean.
Just because Dumbledore was asleep didn't mean he wasn't watching what the prisoners were doing... :O
Maxx grew up. He's a collie. Benny looks exactly the same as him as an adult.
You know, Randy? Maybe not let the SPY see what you're writing in your diary?
Monty would NEVER sabotage someone else's model! That would be incredibly against everything the Community stands for!
Cool! Now they can afford more materials without asking for a government grant. Yeah, they could sell the stuff the prisoners make, but Friday thought they should keep what they make and use it for a new start. Monty's been taking "samples" of stuff, though. x) It's his pay for doing this.
That's what happens when you go to the slammer!
Perri had nightmares all night, about how much cooler Leona was than her.
When Monty had days off work, he focussed on his robotnics skills. The Village, and basically every other house, needed a sentry bot. Monty also wanted to make a Servo, but he wasn't sure how that would turn out in the Village where there was so many people. Maybe when the kids grew up and went on their missions.
Helmut spent his days making toys. It was the most wholesome of the crafts, and Helmut really needed some Whole.
Perri: Everything turns into that mountain from Close Encounters. Are you making a butt?
Harry: Yeah, it's based on my own. I spent a lot of time studying it with a hand mirror last night!
Perri: Um, why?
Harry: Because if I make a giant middle finger, I get added to my time, right?
Chandler was kept at a distance from the others, because he was so easily influenced. He worked hard and mostly stayed out of trouble.
Leona: Don't hug me, we're not that kind of sisters. We'll never be that kind of sisters, okay?!
Perri: But look at where being anti-social has gotten us. I'm stuck in mud to my elbows all day, listning to Harry's bawdy anecdotes, and you... You're a florist!
Leona: See, this is why our father left your mother, and chose mine. Your mother was like you. Weak, suited to a life in suburban ennui.
Perri: :(
Dumbledore kept getting promoted a lot. Now he was making some progress in holding the press accountable.
You probably can't even see him, but this is Oliver. I think he may be Renfield's brother. Monty got him from the pound, because he needed someone to love in the demoralising environment he lived in, someone pure and true.
Monty: Look, Oliver. The sky is always dark and looming above the prison yard.
Oliver: I like Dad!
He's so cute. Monty named him after Oliver Twist, who grew up in a work house.
Monty promised he'd do anything to keep Oliver happy, until they got back to the Village.
Oliver: Dad is cool! :)
Monty was totally exhausted the next day. Helmut tried to escape again, by putting on his uniform and just hopping into Dumbledore's carpool. It didn't work.
Oliver had convinced the two big dogs that he was the boss. Maxx is so chill he just went along with it, and Benny's too daft to know any better.
Even if Harry didn't develop any better morals after he'd served his sentence, he'd make a good employee for an artisan pottery business. Artisans would probably be cool with him putting boobs on everything too.
Monty worked alongside the inmates sometimes, to lead by a good example. He earned the bronze badge, and was done with making useless toys.
Dumbledore had zero cooking points so he burned the lunch. Monty said that he could give it to the prisoners, so they could have some variation.
Oliver: Is this where Dad works?
It was Benny-bath-time. Oliver shivered at the thought.
For real though. This is Werewolf Dumbledore bathing a dog in a Mugglish prison yard in Spain. How did this get weirder than the fanfiction I wrote when I was 11?
Monty's a werewolf who's part troll and dinosaur. I hope he's not a Gary Stu.
Perri: LOL you got fat!
Monty: Oh yeah? Watch this, Perri!
Hey, that cat walking past the door looks just like Teefz.
Oh, it was! He was out taking Nettie for a walk.
Monty: I think you know most of our jailbirds. Want to come in and say hi to them?
Monty wondered if he was becoming a dog person too.
Nettie: Professor Dumbledore, what are you doing in Chandler's bed?
Helmutt: I'm definitely not reading his diary.
What could Chandler even write about that a spy would be interested in? He doesn't give a scrap about politics or anything.
Nettie: I'm not a party girl anymore, Harry. Now I'm a famous chef. You can turn your life around too.
Harry was very happy to see Nettie, even if he didn't know the person she'd become.
Monty could howl as much as he wanted now. :D It was a great way of getting rid of frustration and pent up grrrrness.
Music is another. Noelle Dennis must feel very at home in Spain, since she's a tango dancer.
Friday came over to fill in for Monty some days. The crimilan reform was his brainchild, and he wanted to take a more active part. Oh, and Perri got her shredded jeans with fishnet back as a reward for good behaviour.
Friday trusted the prisoners enough that he went out and did some weeding.
Harry promoted himself to guard. x( You can see that Leona got a new jacket, because she's been on her best behaviour too. Oh and Friday had the ceiling lights replaced. The main room has a problem with bloom light, and it's usually the lamps that are the problem. In this case it didn't help much, though.
Harry: This vase really looks like ass, and I didn't even mean to.
Perri: Keep trying, you'll get better.
Monty: Even if we have cleaning help, you can't pee on the floor.
Dumbledore: It's important to teach children manners, you're a very good dad.
Monty: I feel like I'm losing out on so much of his childhood. :C
Oliver: I like Uncle Albus. He's nice.
Oliver: I like Benny, he's weird!
Dumbledore: Benny, it's not the kitten that needs a bath here.
Dumbledore: How come you get so stinky all the time, and your brother doesn't?
LMAO!
Suddenly Oliver wasn't a kitten anymore!
He took a nap in one of the cells, so the dogs could have a chance at the dog house.
Leona was just delusional by this point.
Jimbi came over after work, to discuss ideas for new community lots and improvements of existing ones.
AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY REALISED THEY LOVED EACH OTHER! OH NOOOOO!!!!
Oh Monty, why couldn't you have found someone who was neither married nor related to you? :( Dumbledore removed their memories of this with a pensieve, so it's okay. Now they think they're cousins.
Cats need their sleep, and Helmut had a chair he could sit on in the mean time.
Monty: It's best if you come out now, Oliver. Helmut's in a bad place mentally, emotionally and geographically.
Monty played So. Much. Chess. He played all the chess!
Friday took on guard duty and unclogged a couple of toilets.
Harry was being Harry. x(
Perri: GET LOST!
Guarding prisoners wasn't Friday's favourite.
He staid around to give Monty's brain a run for the money, because Monty somehow always found ways of winning against himself.
Goodboi Maxx was happy that his dad was home. :) This is so wholesome. Also, Dumbledore wears a suit.
None of the other families who have dogs need to bathe them every two days. I guess they're less furry than Maxx and Benny.
Friday's still a nudist, BTW.
OH NO HE FLASHED DUMBLEDORE! D:
Monty forgot to lock the front door, and Helmut tried to escape. But Dumbledore had placed a force field in front of the sidewalk, so he couldn't get through. He pretended he'd just gone out to mop a puddle.
Oliver liked the dogs, they were his friends. But soon they would leave, because Dumbledore hadn't signed up for the job permanently. Now it was time for him to return to his own life. Friday said he'd found available replacements.
What is it women even see in Chandler?
When Helmut wasn't trying to elope, or spy on other inmates for worthless intel, he worked hard and dilligently. He was the first to earn a Gold Badge. (I think.)
How do you accidentally make an evil kite? How do you make a kite evil??
Harry had developed a weird fetish for using Perri's shower.
Chandler had started to find peace of mind in his sewing. It made him happy like nothing had done before!
And that's all for now! There's another chapter of this, which you can look for around Saturdayish!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Narrator outtttt! :D
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no subject
Date: 2021-05-27 09:04 pm (UTC)But yay I get to read about jail! I wonder if they talked about it at the Community Leaders Convention that Kult friday met Landru at, and he finally decided to try it? Oh well I'm sure Monty'll do an awesome job. He's a very reliable dude.
Writing in his diary in his underpants! Alrady I can tell Helmut's gonna be like the worst inmate XD But of course we already knew he was a loser, cuzza the way he tried to destroy Monty!
Oooh, maybe Perri was the one who did the plastic surgery gone wrong on Shiki, one of the newbies in Summer Town! I mean maybe that's how she started, then she moved on to implants. Maybe she made the plastic surgery go wrong on purpose, cuz she said something that ticked her off!
LOL yay good thing Dumbledore has the spare time now!
Oh no it's Chandler and Harry, LOL! Of course they'd be there XDXXDXD
WEREWOLF DUmBLEDORE WINWINWINWINWINWINWIN SO MUCH WIN!!!!!!!!
Germans have a cultural stereotype of being very clean and orderly
Sam says maybe that's why she is then, cuz she's alot more German than Scandie or even English.
Ooooh I'm sure that'd be cool if Monty partnered up with Jimbijimbi to do architectural stuff!
Harry: Yeah, it's based on my own. I spent a lot of time studying it with a hand mirror last night!
I"M GLAD XAVIER ISN"T READING THIS! Then he'd wanna start sculpting butts insteada grabbing them. You might think thta was harmless but it might make him think about butts too much then he'd be right back to grabbing again.
Awwwwwh, Monty is a dad! All the pets are sooooo kewt!!
For real though. This is Werewolf Dumbledore bathing a dog in a Mugglish prison yard in Spain. How did this get weirder than the fanfiction I wrote when I was 11?
LOL! I just had a thought! If life is stranger than fiction, then The Sims is stranger than fanficiton!!
Netties outfit is sooooooo cooooooll!!!
Sam's gonna use this pic as Oliver's profile pic, k?
NO MONTY! NO JImBIJIMBI! NO! Good think Dumbledore was there to manage. It was very wise of Kult Friday to bring him in.
Well at least Helmut respects cats!
Yeah non Harry's the worst inmate! I hope him and Zavier never meet!
Friday's still a nudist, BTW.
XD At least he can blame his excentricity.
How do you accidentally make an evil kite? How do you make a kite evil??
Esp when you don't even have magical powers like Dumblebore! Maybe he thought it would help him escape.
OMGosh Chandler sewing is win too!
OK great update I can't wait to go on to the next part of jail! But I gotta do more school stuff first! Thumbs down!
no subject
Date: 2021-06-13 03:12 pm (UTC)I think Landru definitely suggested to Friday that he should make a jail. Friday isn't going to hold festivals, though! At least not the way Laundru likes them. He may arrange some kind of concert event with many types of bands and stuff, drug free.
AS we all know by now, Helmutt is the worst inmate!
Yeah, I think it was Perri who messed up Skihi's face! It said in her criminal history file that she'd mangled a young woman's face. She thought "rhinoplasty" meant "implant horn on nose."
LOL yay good thing Dumbledore has the spare time now!
I know! He's so not used to it, so he's got to ease himself into freedom by doing things like working in a jail.
They couldn't really have a prison program without Harry and Chandler!
Ooooh I'm sure that'd be cool if Monty partnered up with Jimbijimbi to do architectural stuff!
They're planning a whole city together, but it's going to take a lot of time to finish building it!
Awwwwwh, Monty is a dad! All the pets are sooooo kewt!!
I KNOW <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Sam's got my full permission to use any pictures she wants to, because I don't have copyrights to the game or any of the CC!
Well at least Helmut respects cats!
If he didn't, he'd have to to go maximum security. Actually that's what he needs anyway.
Yeah non Harry's the worst inmate! I hope him and Zavier never meet!
But Xavier could grab Harry's butt, and then they'd both be disgusted and traumatized.
Hang in there, MK! It's almost summer vacationz!