The whole passage is amazing. Anywhooo, Tia'a is a Sue, so she needs to suffar. Dave and Marie leave town, and Tia'a gets to be babysat by Uncle Larry, who's fat and bald and a raepist, because of course he is. Tia'a has a vision of her father, Caius of the Volturi, who tells her not to sleep with Edward. That is of course one of the first things she does, turning her into a vampire. Edward's penis is described as a "mancarrot" and "man-fruit-thing," and apparently it's purple. She goes home and drinks Uncle Larry's blood.
There's also a talking panda called Snoofles, who at first seems to be a cute and fluffy animal companion. However, Snoofles ends up having sex with Jasper, and a guy called Vincent who gave the story a bad review, in the back of a car driven by a really drunk and high Tia'a. Jacob, whose penis looks like a horrible wet mushroom, takes her prisoner, but Edward busts down the door, and the story ends.
I'm sorry that you're now aware of the existance of this story. :(
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The whole passage is amazing. Anywhooo, Tia'a is a Sue, so she needs to suffar. Dave and Marie leave town, and Tia'a gets to be babysat by Uncle Larry, who's fat and bald and a raepist, because of course he is. Tia'a has a vision of her father, Caius of the Volturi, who tells her not to sleep with Edward. That is of course one of the first things she does, turning her into a vampire. Edward's penis is described as a "mancarrot" and "man-fruit-thing," and apparently it's purple. She goes home and drinks Uncle Larry's blood.
There's also a talking panda called Snoofles, who at first seems to be a cute and fluffy animal companion. However, Snoofles ends up having sex with Jasper, and a guy called Vincent who gave the story a bad review, in the back of a car driven by a really drunk and high Tia'a. Jacob, whose penis looks like a horrible wet mushroom, takes her prisoner, but Edward busts down the door, and the story ends.
I'm sorry that you're now aware of the existance of this story. :(