FROM A HUMBLE SERVANT'S JOURNAL

[tigeranne]

Day 1.
I have arrived at my destination, where I, at Her Majesty's orders, am to work the land and repent my tresspasses. The place is not much to look at: A small field with a few measly fruit trees scattered around. My abode is an underground bunker, which is obviously meant to be a storage room. I cannot ask my darling wench Melody to come be my wife under such circumstances. She would laugh and spit in my face. I shall feel better when I get some pigs. Pigs are good company.

Day 2.
Unbeknownst to me, Her Majesty has arranged for me to be the caretaker of several animals from endangered species. Early this morning, a stranger appeared, measured up land for three pens, and asked me to send for the necessary supplies. This was not part of the plan. I may have to ask her Majesty for help.

Day 3.
I have a piglet! He is even named after me, by Her Majesty Herself. His name is Evan-James. I am so proud! I will raise him as my own son. We have also got a dog; a small white mop. I have named her Fifi, because it was the only name that fit. I have read that it is good for children to grow up around dogs.

Day 4.
Out of milk. How will EJ grow if he doesn't get any milk? I went around the village looking for charity, but this is a cold and cruel place. In the end, the youngest of the Barnaby girls, the one who is a bit simple in the head, took pity on my poor son and gave us three bottles.

Day 5.
What a proud day! My son is all grown up. He looks just like me in my young days. I also have an adpotive son now, that one of the Riley girls - I never can tell them apart - asked me to take care of. He is much bigger than any pig I have ever seen, and has an unhealthy grey colour. His nose is deformed, and he has very prominent front teeth. All in all a very unfortunate looking lad. I have named him John, it fits a boy of such abnormal size. The children wanted a pet, so I got them a duck. It is most disobedient.

Day 6.
Our little family has been joined by a lovely pig maiden. Evan-James has eyes only for her. We had squash stew for dinner, in celebration. Young love, it is so beautiful. It reminds me of my Melody and I, before I joined the Order and she married those 14 other men. But she has assured me that she is over them now.

Day 7.
I have been ordered to breed chickens. Never really liked chickens. The man from the animal project was here again, and complained about the pens not being done yet. I tried to explain to him that I have got a limited access to supplies, because her Majesty has forbidden me to have contact with anyone who is not yet aware of my earlier trespasses. Crummy week. I miss my Melody.

Day 8.
Three peasants have moved in next to me. Two of them look exactly the same, the third is a ginger. They wanted me to join their logistics company, but I know they are poachers. I said yes anyway. With the help of the poacher peasants, I got the materials I needed to build a place for the dog. It's shedding all over the floor, so it was a relief to move it outside. The animal guy was very pleased, and gave me a minion. I think it's some sort of cat.

Day 9.
Oh what a most joyous day! The High Lady has blessed me with three amazing new pig wenches. My son shall no longer have to feel lonely, with such a loving family surrounding him. It made me feel charitable. I had some food sent to my acquaintances, so they can feed all the poor starving creatures in the realm. It was starting to smell a bit funny, anyway. I may have to rethink my allegiance to the Queen. The High Lady has done more for me in a day than the Queen ever did. Now that I have a family to think of, it cannot hurt to have powerful allies. Miss Kirkfeld says I'm grovelling. She had better watch it. I still remember the apple-cider incident at the autumn fair...

Day 10.
The squinty-eyed animal guy has been back to ask me to build another new pen. This time he wants me to rear fowl. It is at times like these I need to remember that I am but a humble servant, and must do as my superiors ask of me. I taught miss Kirkfeld a lesson, by rescuing a piglet from her farm. The poor animal is in a dreadful condition; it is so thin its legs are like sticks, and it has horrible black blotches all over its skin. I will make sure it recovers. The dog has had puppies. It's time to find the beggar's staff and take a trip around the village for food. *sigh*

Day 11.
This has been a most eventful day. This morning I went down to the village to ask the kind folks for some scraps of food for the new puppy. I have kept one, and given the rest to some ragged local children who have probably never received a Christmas present in their sorrowful lives. Who do I see in the middle of the town square, asking for food for her starving chickens? None other than the Kirkfeld-wench! I went straight over to her and told her what I thought of such shameless behaviour. She pretended not to hear me. I will have a word with the High Lady about her. In the afternoon, I once again went over to her dilapidated farm, to see if anything inappropriate was going on. What I saw shocked me to the core of my being; She had put up a sign near her front gate, a sign that read "Free piglet". I immediately became filled with pity for the defenseless child, so I picked it up and went over to tell the wench a few stern words. The child, whom I have named Everhart, is settling in well. Alas, I'm yet again out of milk, and must appeal to the conscience of the villagers. Water from a stone!

Day 12.
With as many younglings as I currently am finding myself looking after, it is getting increasingly hard to leave the farm to go down to the village. Instead I spent the day writing a series of identical letters to be sent to my acquaintances in the realm, where I asked them to spare a few drops of milk for poor little Everhart. I brought the other foundling out in the sun. His knobbly little legs are still quivering, and his skin still dreadfully discoloured. We have received a goose. It is by far the most disagreeable bird I have ever had to deal with, so I let John handle it. With his size, he should be safe from its vicious attacks.

Day 13.
It is days like this when I miss my Melody the most. Alas, I have nothing to offer her. My children are a great comfort to me. I have been fortunate enough to receive several bottles of milk from sympathetic neighbours. The poacher Riley even dropped off a few bottles, although accompanied by a snipey remark. I ignored him. EJ has begun to warm up to the idea that he is no longer an only child. There was always John, but because of his size he cannot go down the hatch and must resort to sleeping outside. It is clear that Everhart looks up to his big brother, although EJ is a young man in love, and wants to spend some time alone with his maiden. Oh Melody, how I wish it was you and I making love in the haystack.

Day 14.
Oh bittersweet day! My delightful child has grown into a charming young man. Everhart now has a sweetheart of his own. In my heart, I am secretly calling this maiden Melody, because she has the same seductive laugh and twinkling eyes as my wench. John is getting quite good at herding the fowl, so I let him have that job now. It is important for children to learn a sense of responsibility. The animal guy was over again to pester me about the lack of progress. I referred him to the High Lady, who will explain my predicament to him. It is still most difficult to obtain suitable materials for building secure pens. I ran into the poacher who is not a Riley and not ginger. He had some disagreeable words to say in defense of the Kirkfeld witch. Next time he shows his face around here, I'll sick the goose on him.

Day 15.
This morning saw the delivery of a small herd of horses. I have claimed the largest one for myself, to ride when I go into the village. The pony is a suitable size for EJ and Everhart, unfortunately it bolts whenever they try to approach it. It is obviously not broken in. The last one is but a colt. It will make a graceful horse for my Melody, when she comes to live with me. I went over to Kirkfeld's witch-house, and discovered that she had discarded many items of great use to me. There was also a large egg under a shrub, that I decided to bring home. Maybe the goose will be less hostile if I can lure out her maternal instincts. Kirkfeld shouted something after me as I took my cart away from there. I am sure it was nothing polite.