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tigeranneAll this talk about bad romance, has awoken my inner troll. You read this on your own risk, and please don't read while eating.
It was Friday morning. Melissa walked into the classroom. Her long, ivory-blonde hair was cascading down to her slim waist in a silky cloud of blonde satin tresses. She wore a short, revealing overall-dress made from distressed denim, and you could totally see her satin magenta lacy bra underneath it. On her feet she wore huge, spikey combat boots, with which she kicked all the ugly, horny guys who always tried to grope her while she walked into the classroom, looking sexy and hot, and minding her own business. Melissa didn't like boys, so she kicked them hard with her spiky combat boots that had sharp spikes.
Everyone was expecting a boring history lesson about Greece, when the teacher Mr. Frankenfurt announced that "We have a new boy in class. I hope you will all be nice to him. Our Headmaster will show him in now."
The door went up, and the Headmaster Mr. Turpin who had a combover, came in the door with a delivery trolley. On the trolley sat a huge, green-grey pile of slime, with lots of quivering tentacles emerging from within.
"This is Mike," said Mr. Turpin. "As you can see, he suffers from a rare disorder, don't hate."
All the mean cheer-leaders started laughing and threw stuff at Mike to see if it stuck.
"ORDER IN CLASS," bellowed Mr. Frankenfurt, "Mike, go sit in the back of the class with the misfits."
Mike slithered to the back of the classroom, and slid onto the chair next to Melissa. His gelatinous body completely absorbed the chair, and partially buried the desk. He left a trail of mucus along the floor.
Melissa was mesmerized. She had never seen a guy like Mike before. All the boys in her school were jocks, and were covered in hard, ugly muscles, that bulged beneath their hideously tight skin and clung to their ugly bones. Melissa hated skin on a guy, almost as much as she hated muscle, but not as much as she hated skeletons. What was the point of bringing a halloween-decoration with them everywhere they went? Losers! Most of them had gross, itchy hair as well! Mike didn't seem to be anything like that.
Melissa sighed dreamily, and watched as Mike's shapeless, semi-liquid form started dripping over the edge of his desk. She started getting naughty fantasies about what it would feel like to pour him into a bath-tub, and and let his smooth, mucilaginous substance envelope her shapely, naked body, creeping into her every crevass, and seeping into the pores of her very being.
Suddenly she jumped high in the air and SCREAMED, as a fist hit her desk so hard the wood split in two. It was Mr. Frankenfurter.
"Pay attention in CLASS!" he shouted. "What are you doing, sitting there moaning like the whore of Babylon?! Have you been hiding porn in your textbooks again?!?!"
"No sir," Melissa said, afraid.
"Look what you made me do!" grrrfed Mr. Frankenfurter. "You made me ruin a perfectly good desk! You'll have to switch with snot-boy."
He stuck both of his arms into Mike, and extracted his desk with a spine-tingling squelchy fart-sound. Melissa got all hot and bothered from listning. The desk was still covered in the viscid residue of Mike, and she burrowed her fingers into it with delight.
Without the desk to give him internal structure, Mike started drooping flaccidly onto the floor. Melissa gave him a sly grin, and made a "come hither" motion with her finger. He slunk eagerly over to her desk, still dripping with his own delicious sludge, and glissaded in underneath it. Melissa sighed in delight, as she felt him undo her shoes, and enclose her sensitive toes in his cool, delightful ooze. His mucus tentacles slid up her long, firm legs, and started tugging at her knickers.
"Oooh, you naughty boy!" Melissa whispered, as she lifted her well-rounded bum from her seat, releasing her delicate undergarments. The stupid teacher had turned his back, and was talking about Greek democrazy again, so he wasn't looking. She deftly slipped out of her dress, and dived into the exquisite pile of goop that composed Mike. Underneath the viscous surface, there was a world of pleasure as she had never known it. The only problem was that she kept having to come up for air, and she was worried about the stupid cheerleaders seeing her. But she found an abandoned drinking straw on the floor, and that was happiness made.
Mike taught her what true gratification was that morning. As she lost virginity under her desk in history class, Melissa knew that she could no longer imagine life outside of the wonderful, jellied bubble of gunk that was Mike. She wanted to be one with him for the rest of eternity. But she couldn't, because the school day ended, and she had to put her clothes back on before the cleaning-staff came in. Before she abstracted herself from Mikes loving engulfment, she whispered "Come to my place, tomorrow night!" into his syrupy mass. She couldn't wait all the time until Monday before seeing and feeling him again.
The next evening, there was a knock on the door. Melissa was home alone, and she had spent the afternoon covering her naked self in lubricant. She wanted to be sexy the way Mike was, even if she could never be as beautifully amorphous as him. While she wondered how Mike could actually knock on the door, existing exclusively of mucus, she ran out to answer.
Outside the door was a strange boy she had never seen before. And there she was standing, naked and covered in sex-jelly. Well, she had nothing to be ashamed of.
"You have the wrong house," said Melissa proudly, as she dripped on the flooring. "I'm waiting for my BF, so kthnxbai!"
"No, it's me!" said the boy. "I'm Mike."
"You're totally NOT!" spat Melissa. "My Mike is a beautiful lump of goo, and you're an ugly osseous human!"
"I know you've never seen my face," said the boy. "You see, I have really bad allergic reactions, and hyperactive mucus-membranes. Yesterday I was having it really bad, but I'm better today."
Melissa started crying. "I thought you were different," she sobbed, "BUT YOU'RE JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER GUYS! I thought I loved you!"
She went to her room, logged in on Tumblr and changed her profile to say she was slug-kin.
They can't all end happily.
It was Friday morning. Melissa walked into the classroom. Her long, ivory-blonde hair was cascading down to her slim waist in a silky cloud of blonde satin tresses. She wore a short, revealing overall-dress made from distressed denim, and you could totally see her satin magenta lacy bra underneath it. On her feet she wore huge, spikey combat boots, with which she kicked all the ugly, horny guys who always tried to grope her while she walked into the classroom, looking sexy and hot, and minding her own business. Melissa didn't like boys, so she kicked them hard with her spiky combat boots that had sharp spikes.
Everyone was expecting a boring history lesson about Greece, when the teacher Mr. Frankenfurt announced that "We have a new boy in class. I hope you will all be nice to him. Our Headmaster will show him in now."
The door went up, and the Headmaster Mr. Turpin who had a combover, came in the door with a delivery trolley. On the trolley sat a huge, green-grey pile of slime, with lots of quivering tentacles emerging from within.
"This is Mike," said Mr. Turpin. "As you can see, he suffers from a rare disorder, don't hate."
All the mean cheer-leaders started laughing and threw stuff at Mike to see if it stuck.
"ORDER IN CLASS," bellowed Mr. Frankenfurt, "Mike, go sit in the back of the class with the misfits."
Mike slithered to the back of the classroom, and slid onto the chair next to Melissa. His gelatinous body completely absorbed the chair, and partially buried the desk. He left a trail of mucus along the floor.
Melissa was mesmerized. She had never seen a guy like Mike before. All the boys in her school were jocks, and were covered in hard, ugly muscles, that bulged beneath their hideously tight skin and clung to their ugly bones. Melissa hated skin on a guy, almost as much as she hated muscle, but not as much as she hated skeletons. What was the point of bringing a halloween-decoration with them everywhere they went? Losers! Most of them had gross, itchy hair as well! Mike didn't seem to be anything like that.
Melissa sighed dreamily, and watched as Mike's shapeless, semi-liquid form started dripping over the edge of his desk. She started getting naughty fantasies about what it would feel like to pour him into a bath-tub, and and let his smooth, mucilaginous substance envelope her shapely, naked body, creeping into her every crevass, and seeping into the pores of her very being.
Suddenly she jumped high in the air and SCREAMED, as a fist hit her desk so hard the wood split in two. It was Mr. Frankenfurter.
"Pay attention in CLASS!" he shouted. "What are you doing, sitting there moaning like the whore of Babylon?! Have you been hiding porn in your textbooks again?!?!"
"No sir," Melissa said, afraid.
"Look what you made me do!" grrrfed Mr. Frankenfurter. "You made me ruin a perfectly good desk! You'll have to switch with snot-boy."
He stuck both of his arms into Mike, and extracted his desk with a spine-tingling squelchy fart-sound. Melissa got all hot and bothered from listning. The desk was still covered in the viscid residue of Mike, and she burrowed her fingers into it with delight.
Without the desk to give him internal structure, Mike started drooping flaccidly onto the floor. Melissa gave him a sly grin, and made a "come hither" motion with her finger. He slunk eagerly over to her desk, still dripping with his own delicious sludge, and glissaded in underneath it. Melissa sighed in delight, as she felt him undo her shoes, and enclose her sensitive toes in his cool, delightful ooze. His mucus tentacles slid up her long, firm legs, and started tugging at her knickers.
"Oooh, you naughty boy!" Melissa whispered, as she lifted her well-rounded bum from her seat, releasing her delicate undergarments. The stupid teacher had turned his back, and was talking about Greek democrazy again, so he wasn't looking. She deftly slipped out of her dress, and dived into the exquisite pile of goop that composed Mike. Underneath the viscous surface, there was a world of pleasure as she had never known it. The only problem was that she kept having to come up for air, and she was worried about the stupid cheerleaders seeing her. But she found an abandoned drinking straw on the floor, and that was happiness made.
Mike taught her what true gratification was that morning. As she lost virginity under her desk in history class, Melissa knew that she could no longer imagine life outside of the wonderful, jellied bubble of gunk that was Mike. She wanted to be one with him for the rest of eternity. But she couldn't, because the school day ended, and she had to put her clothes back on before the cleaning-staff came in. Before she abstracted herself from Mikes loving engulfment, she whispered "Come to my place, tomorrow night!" into his syrupy mass. She couldn't wait all the time until Monday before seeing and feeling him again.
The next evening, there was a knock on the door. Melissa was home alone, and she had spent the afternoon covering her naked self in lubricant. She wanted to be sexy the way Mike was, even if she could never be as beautifully amorphous as him. While she wondered how Mike could actually knock on the door, existing exclusively of mucus, she ran out to answer.
Outside the door was a strange boy she had never seen before. And there she was standing, naked and covered in sex-jelly. Well, she had nothing to be ashamed of.
"You have the wrong house," said Melissa proudly, as she dripped on the flooring. "I'm waiting for my BF, so kthnxbai!"
"No, it's me!" said the boy. "I'm Mike."
"You're totally NOT!" spat Melissa. "My Mike is a beautiful lump of goo, and you're an ugly osseous human!"
"I know you've never seen my face," said the boy. "You see, I have really bad allergic reactions, and hyperactive mucus-membranes. Yesterday I was having it really bad, but I'm better today."
Melissa started crying. "I thought you were different," she sobbed, "BUT YOU'RE JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHER GUYS! I thought I loved you!"
She went to her room, logged in on Tumblr and changed her profile to say she was slug-kin.
They can't all end happily.
