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Alright, the Starblooms are back to suffer some more. Last time, Brianna was a horrible child, who made poor Tallie's childhood miserable by wanting to be her awful friend. Riana got a job in the police, and Adana started a career as a gamer. The kids grew up. Tallie was the smartest girl in school, and got thoroughly humiliated by her teachers. Phil came to see his grandchildren, and brought along a guy who messed up Brianna's head by giving her a hug. The Slave-Man made himself at home. Edgar finally ran out of poison. Then the girls became teenagers. Tallie met a tragic boy who she fell in love with. Riana took them with her to The House of Silent Despair, where misunderstood geniuses go to be alone together. Unfortunately Riana didn't find Love, but a time-traveller told them that the secret to defeating Edgar lay in the past, so they must find a way to get there.

Narrator, get ready!


Riana still didn't have LOVE, so thy had to go back to the House of Silence and Despair. This tim they packed a tent, so they didn't live IN the house, wich was illegal by the goverment.

Riana was very good at playing the Mozart. She plaid sad and beautiful symphonies at the grand piano. And it made everyone cry.


It was so beautiful that to some petty souls it was too unbearable to listen, because they were scaried of true beauty and goodness.


A womin started subbing against the wall and stuff.


The Time Traveller came back, and he told them he'd just been in the Victorian Century.

Tim Traveller: I saw Edgar and Phil and they were working as Charles Dickens.

Tallie: It's terryble.


Brianna always go to bed early, because she's a child for her age.


Cute guy: You have the Eyes of Truth. You will be very sad in love forever, because they will never understand you.

Tallie: That makes me feel very sad. :(


The Good Witch used to keep guard over the house at night. But sometimes she needed a break so she could catch up on Once Upon a Time, and then the Bad Witch had to take over.


Riana discovered the Secre3t Library and there was so much books there. And their all so old. Which one held the secret of Time Travel. She had to reed them all. When will she find True LOVE? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO D:


Brianna was still just a child, and she had fun on a roller rink in the hood. Alone. Nobody wanted to play with her, because they had serious business to do and were vice beyond their years.


Uncle Adolf came back and stole 1000000000 Simoleons and a pack of cigs from Peter Ottopus. He got really pissed about that. Sometimes he came to smoke there, because his wife didn't want him puffing on all the babies at home. But now he has no smokes!




Behind the house there was a sectret garde with two magic pools. One was for Elves and the other one for Goths and Emos. Rianna can use both.


She lay depresled on a couch in the ancient library, under the mysterious faces of the sun, and thought about her mission. She must find time travel and reel love so she can be happy and her family can be happy.


On TV there was only reruns of ONE TREE HILL which she hates almost as much as GLEEE! It made her MAD!

And Tallie learned to channel her sadness in music.


Sometimes there was depressing horror movies on TV, like Jaws. It scared the preps a lot. But not Riana, because she's the chosen who fights evil.


Laurelin always called them at the house, because she was lonely. Riana felt sorry for her, because she could have been her mother, in another life. It was sad to see her sad, just like her real mother. They must find out how to make her back to how she once was.


Mrs. Ottomax things her husband is very sexy so they have many babies with him.


Mrs Ottomad: You must beware of this man. He has read hair and his face looks angry. He has a big nose.


Tallie is so tracigally pretty. She shouldn't wear happy pink, but that's a disguise so people will think she's someone else, who's happy.


Peeple use the wrong pools all the time! D:<


Suddenly the man with red hair was there!


But Riana didn't trust Miss Ottomap. She talked to him and he was nice.


And he told her that he was the Son of Captain Hero, and he said Riana had to think about her career in the police, because fighting crime was important. CRIME IS BAD FOR YOU! DON'T BE A CRIMINAL. YOU HURT PEOPLE AND MAKE THEM SAD AND POOR AND GO TO JAILL FOR 20 TO LIFE! Like my uncle Ralph.


This man was escaped from an asylum again. He talked loudly to himself about comspiracy and didn't used grammer proprely. That's so annoying!


It was cold to sleep in a tent outside, but it was illegal to sleep inside the house because then they'd be living away from home and that's not legal when you're 15. But camping is legal.


Tallie always woke up first of everyone, so she had to wash the bathroom every morning. It made her feel like a made!


Adana's BF came around to learn chess from the Professor of Ariglacy. She's very smart.


Riana: You need to tell us when you see any wolves, because they could be werewolves in disguys.


Brianna: But how do I know if they are wolves or just dogs who looks like wolves?

She's so dumb sometimes. Wolfs have glowing eyes. Everyone knows that.


Oh no, the Prome Minister!


She came to see that nobody was breaking the law by living in the House of Silent Despair under age. But the Professor distracted her by starting to talk about politics and countries and stuff.


Brianna: Tallie, is this the guy who's going to make you unhappy in love?

Tallie: Ewwww no! He's almost 50!


Suddenly this guy came to assassinate the Prime Minister. His name was Esso and he was from Denmark. They knew because it said on his Assassin name tag on his shirt.


The girls didn't know what to do, because assassination is illegal. But they were in trouble because they were doing something illegal too so they had to tell him.


Esso: HA HA HA I have you now, Prime Minister!


The Professor couldn't look, because she was a nice person.


Suddenly the Major came too. The girls were in deep sheet.


But then a beautiful Goffic boy came in. His name was Nathaniel, after his twin brother who was dead by starvation.


Riana had found True Love!


Nathaniel was so shy and sweet and depressed, and it was so cute. She knew he was the real one.


And he couldin't beleave that such a pretty girl liked him, because at school all the girls had called him a jellyfish.


Riana told him all about her secret mission, while a farmgirl cried a lot because her life was boring.


So they went to the gothic pool and had a romantic time under the shady trees.


He embaraced her, and she felt the rocky muscles under his white alabaster skin.


A lot of peoeple starred because they were jealous they were not cool and popular like that, but they gave them the fingers.


Their first kiss was like the explosion of a bubble gum on a moonlit night. <3


Nathaniel looked even more sexy in the dark of the night!


But somehow the Prime Minister was still alive.


The red haired Man appeared in the dining room to warn the others.


So everyone had to go back home. But there had been a Time Slip, and none of what had happened had happened anymore! So Nathaniel no longer loved Riana. She would have to meet him again!


She saw his adopted brother Legolas, who was an Elf Warrior.


Riana went to talk to him because he looked so cool.


But up close he was really ugly.


Riana missed Nathaniel so much, and it broke her heart that he didn't know she existed, kind of like Adana who loves Justin Bieber. She watched Cannibal Apocalypse to cheer herself up. Luckily she had another Goth to keep her company who knew her heart's pain.


This is not a Goth or an Emo! This is a Poser! THIS IS WHAT A POSER LOOKS LIKE!


Captain Hero (Simon's Mom) came to make sure no trouble was going down.


She took with her a depressed old daughter, who was only 25 years old. This was what would happen to Riana too, if she didn't fall in love soon!


Brianna walked into the bathroom when the Mayor had his pants around his knees and was pooping. But she forgot to take a picture so she could blackmail him for information, because she's not very smart.


UNCLE ADOLF GO AWAY!


Laurelin called again. She asked if she could move in with them, but they didn't have room in the tent. :(


Upstairs a woman who was part orca was playing Batch.


Poor Tallie, she lived like a slave. So much work.


One day William came by. He was a hot Gothic man who was named after Malcolm Shakespeare.


Riana hoped he would be her new True Love, because he was really hot!


He did. HOOORAY!


William had never got attention from girls before because at his school they all idoled One Direction, and William only liked My Chemistry Romance.


It wasn't as romantic to have their first date in a kitchen, but at least it was dark and gothic so it was better than meeting in a school like in all great love novels.


Everyone thought they looked so great together. All the cool and nice people were happy for them, and all the ugly and stupid ones were jealous and hoped they got lots of veneral diseasus.


Riana had her second first kiss, but it counted as her first, becaus her first first had no longer happened anymore.


And they got engaged, so they could get married one day when all was well in the world. The Mayor watched, so it was official.


The Bad Witch was watching the house, and she made the lightning strike Jolene the redneck.


And it struck some sad guy. It wasn't safe to stay.


And then a burglar came. It was Edgar's GF's boyfriend.


Liranda and Zarinda are twins so they can use the bathroom together.


Garrett: I will not tolerate this! Where is my Limo?

7 people had to drive this horrible car. It's not fair!


Stupid Maikana invited her Dad over! D:


She's still happy to see him. Always she hoped that Garrett would move out so her parents could get married again. But Phil has a heathen relationship with Grandma.


Adana got jealous that her twin was engaged, because she's supposed to be the most popular girl, so she asked Ethan over.


They shared their passionate snog as the first delicate snowflakes of winter started falling around them. Each one was special.


But the Old Man ruined the perfect moment by bitchslapping Bertha Hortence, and a vicious fight broke out.


ANYWAY! Adana took Ethan with her inside and asked if he wanted her to be his beautiful wife because she was an adult and old enough to marridge.


Poor Bertha had to miss her daughter's engagement because she was being minced meat by the Old Man! >:(


Ethan was so happy that he stole a science machine from the asylum where he's banged up, and gave it to Adana. They can use it to learn trancendence of time.


But upstairs in the hot tub the Old Man was talking about his evil plan to Phil and the Slave. He was going to use a crystal ball to see what the heroes were doing in the future so he could stop them from travelling back in time. But he didn't have a crystal ball and he wasn't a seer so it was difficult.


Maikana and Simon decided to be indecent to upset society.


Ethan stole more stuff from the asylum, but it was too big for the house.


Brice worked out too much and now he's deformed! That's why you don't do anabolic hemorroids!


Simon and Maikana took a flying car to the House of Silent Despair.


They had civil disobedience in a tent, and the Good Witch got really mad!


Tallie had forgot what Wesley looked like so it was time to see him again. He was still really cute and miserable.


But they're young puppy love was true.


They ran off together like cool teens do for love. And they kissed Frenchly to stay warm in the icy night of winter.


They danced all night under the lonely silver stars in the ancient sky above.


When the nasty daylight broke, Uncle Adolf came to be mean to Wesley. He didn't like to see anyone in his family happy.


Tallie asked the Good Witch what to do, because she didn't want to be unhappy in love forever. The Good Witch told her that she just had to get the unhappiness over with and then she could live happily after that.


Then the Bad Witch came, and that meant Once Upon a Time was on TV.


Garrett had bought a mysterious potion on the net. It didn't look like whiskey or vodka, so what could it be?


He drank it, and then he got Rabies.


He became a VAMPIRE! His face was blue because that's a disease many vampires have when they're new. But they don't tell you that in novels, because it doesn't sound sexy.


All vampires are really good at classical music, because they are old it was on MTV when they were kids.


Bertha also got a bottle of the Vampire booze.


She drank it and started popping and spaxxing.


Now she's a vampner with blue-face, but at least she won't get old and wrinkly like Simon's little sisters. Her boobs got bigger too! She's happy!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Yay... That was really all that was missing from this miserable mess, wasn't it?

Guest stars, in no particular order:

Belinda Duckling ([livejournal.com profile] alittlestrange) as The Professor

Lela Duckling ([livejournal.com profile] alittlestrange) as The "Subbing" Woman

Ettie Magpie as Petty Soul

Petunia Pickett-White (Asylum Sim) as The Prime Minister

Andrei Falconridge (Asylum Sim) as Esso the Assassin

Alfie Magpie as The Mayor (Which he is.)

Weedy Magpie as Orca

Edna Magpie as Sad Farmer

Jonathanael Nightinsparrow (Remade) as Nathaniel Nightinsparrow

Lonzo MacAvoy (Remade) as Legolas

Jonathan MacAvoy (Remade) as William

Date: 2014-08-31 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tigerannesims2.livejournal.com
Narrator here! I don't know Rihanna, she lives in London. :'( Or maybe in LA now.

But I can answer for Riana instead, since she's got almost the same name so she's prolly similar! She likes kittens most, and her favurite ice cream is black currant because it's purple but called BLACK so it's very gothic.

Oh, and TigerAnne says "thanks".

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