The Starbloom Travecy - Generation 4.7!
Dec. 15th, 2015 01:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tigeranne
This time it really IS 4.7! :D
Last time around, the twins and Renesmee declared each other eternal enemies, over the whole Jacob-fiasco. Ryan, who's currently in the Asylum, being treated for his various mental abnormalities, came back to visit. Iris finally got a glimpse of life at a normal school. It wasn't really a very exiting update.
This update is hopefully back to good, old ethically questionable form. For goodness snake, people, don't take this too seriously. And don't dress like T'anamika! I now hand the reigns over to Narrator, who will bring us the story of what happened next.
Hi, I'm the Narrator. First, a note from TigerAnne, saying that she's sorry she couldn't recreate Aylatani's face accurately, for those who wanted her for a Prettacy or Uglacy. I don't know who would want the Bertha Hortence face, but anyway. ON WIT HE SHOE!
A lot of time had passed. The twins were 17 years old now, and Ryan had come back to see his family again.
Renesmee (I'm going to cut and paste her name, so I get it right more) had stopped being a Hippie, because Huppies don't beleave in violence and she had no choice. There was violence against her every day, so she couldn't not believe it existed.
Nerniya: You made my sister cry, prepare to DIIIIIIIIIIE!!!
The twins were always standing up for each another.
Ryan: I'm so proud of you for being so smart. :D
Renesmee: You're not that smart. You're weird and freaky, and just because your crazy Dad says your smart it doesn't make that its true. So there.
Nerniya: When are you and Jacob going to dig a den in the forest and leave us in piece?
T'ana: Grandpa Phil's time machine is almost ready. I wonder what all the weird thingos do?
She was scared but exited about starting her mission.
The chair was very comfy and had lots of buttons and stuff on the arm-rests, to control the flight with.
T'ana: One day we're going to fly away from Renesmee and Edgar.
It was fun to look at all the things that lit up and bubbled and hummed and flashed. She dreamt herself away.
Meanwhile, the good wolves, Annabelle and Nathaniel, were getting engaged, so they could once get married. That's a bit more romantic than imprinting and saying "You have to love me 6ever, duuuurrrrrr!"
Nathaniel: The stone looks like the moon!
T'ana was so mad with Renesmee, because she was bullying them saying that the castles would never work to make Dumbledore come to the beach.
In the summer they worked on their castles every night. Decorated with candles and stuff. Adana thought they should use flowers and shells, too.
Even if they were dark and gothic (not Adana, she's a nice prep) they liked living by the deep mysterious ocean, with its cold and ancient water.
Rosalie felt insecure, because Adana was prettier than her. She didn't know Adana was like 140 years old, so she was scared she would start going to school with them. Adana liked to pretend she was a teenager, some times. She got cred for dating Ethan, who's 21 and will be for as long as the Asylum is locked in a time-warp.
Salamandra: I won Best in Breed at the farm-fest!
She didn't bring a cow.
Ryan had become like Ethan, and stole lots of stuff from the Asylum to give to his date. Don't worry, it was Cindie he dated. Adana and him have never done anything naughty.
Ben lived with Ryan for so long he got environmental damage. Iris is his twin, so they used to take baths together when they were babies, but it's still awkwaaard.
Renesmee: You look so stupid, like you're trying to poop your pants or something.
Ben didn't care. He danced like nobody was wathcing and when you do that, you don't usually look as glamorous as you think you do. My sister got really mad when I posted the video on Facebook.
Ben: Ooops, sorrz.
Renesmee: I hate you all, and I hope Jacob comes to take me with him to the Great Forests soon!
The thought of a more peaceful home made Ben dance even happierly.
Renesmee: There's something wrong with all of you losers! You're the weirdest people I know. I should have run away when Mom put me here!
Renesmee thought she looked soooo though and rebellious, because she wore a tank and skater-pants.
Adana sat at the beach in the rain, because then nobody could see that she was crying. She knew it was wrong of her to love Ryan, because 1: He's married, 2: They're kinda related, 3: He's got kids who are her friends, 4: He's crazy and doesn't know wright from wrong, and 5: SHE LOVES ETHAN. But the feeling wouldn't let go of her heart.
She was singing this song to herself:
It's got Lyrics so you can sing along. :D I LOOOOOOOOOVE old music!
Alice: I wonder what our babies would look like.
Maybe if lots of people die when they start fighting Diaper Men and dinosaurs, Alice and Ben should have kids.
Nerniya: How can you be friends with Renesmee? Who's side are you ON??!?!
He hit her back, even if A BOY SHOULD NOT HIT A GIRL EVERRRR! :( Oh no, Renesmee had antagonized the family to each other.
OH NO THEY HATED EACH OTHER!
Jonathan was only 14 and small and skinny. She shouldn't beat up her little sibling.
T'ana didn't want to take sides, because it was too sad. :(
Nerniya: GRRR!
T'ana: Oh no, Grandpa said someone would make her evil. We didn't know it was Renesmee and Jacob!
Ben was happy that at least his parents (Phil's his Dad now, since he never had one) love each other enough to be romantic when they come stinky home from work.
Duckman Junior came home from work with Adana.
Riana began to learn surfing, since she's a surfer babe, but she faceplanted on the board.
You need to be able to sit on the board before you can stand up. I saw that in a movie with Keanu Reeves. I wish I lived in the 90s, so I could have a crush on him before he got old.
The cold, secret ocean felt like true home to Riana, because her mother is 40€ Mermaid, and she used to live by the sea as a child with Zarinda and Liranda.
Then she fell off. :(
Duckman Junior and Wolfman Junior are the same people. They're on Annablelle's side, not on Jacon's.
Adana had to learn to surf, too. She's a prep, so she wants to have a beach-babe image. x)
All Jonathan got was this stupid sunburn that never went away yet.
Wolfman Junior got hit by lightning, but he's a nerd so that made him happy.
Phil's a "scholar". I asked Dad what that is, and he said it's people who talk like they know anything, hide all evidence that they're wrong, and lie about everything else. Phil used to be a serial killar, so he knew a lot about lying and hiding evidence.
But he regrets what he has done, so he used the time machine to a test-run, and went back and saved all his victims from himself, so now he's not a murderer anymore. :D
Adana changed her hair again. She's never happy with her hair.
Kevin and Logan came to visit a lot, because they wanted to know more about their family's past. They hoped it was so long since Liranda and Aylatani had seen each other, they had forgot to be enemies.
They're too old to play on a Marry-go-Round, but Adana liked to have someone to be immature for her age with.
Logan looks like Emmett. :(
Oliver who's a paranoid android (because psycho-girl beats him up) thought T'ana was really hot. Even the fake boys wanted her.
Adana had to see Ethan again, because he was always the one she really loved and wanted it to stay like that 5ever. Even if she loved Ryan, she hoped that could be platonic, and that she would have all her passionate flings with the guy she's actually engaged to.
I think we should nooter Logan. How did his beautiful parents make that face?
Adana: You're a really hot guy. Maybe you should get another shirt.
Ethan: It's an excellent proposition. :)
Logan: Don't beleve the people who say that Diaper Man doesn't exist.
Ethan: If he does, we will eventually observe his appearance.
Logan: Wow you can English. My brother said you were Dutch.
Ethan: It pains me to express this opinion, but your brother is a mentally deficient imbusyl.
Suddenly Renee was there.
Rennnee: Did U know that a paternity test can't tell whose your daddy, only if he's not, LOL???
Aylatani: What are you talking about Reene?
Renénen: We thought Resmenee must be Phil's kid since she wasn't Charlie's, and I'm not a SLOT like some others. But actually, Charlie's her baby-dad all along! ROFL!
Aylatina: WUT?
Reenen: Yeah cuz you normally get like half your DNA from your Mom and half from Dad, but sometimes genes are more dominant so you can have more or less. LMAO, she got ALL her genetics from me, it's a static improbility of 1:59865486495984!?!
Aylatoni: How do you know this?
Reneé: We took the test over, when Bella told us that Reneneism looked nothing like Phil. And this time it passed, and they found how strong my DNA is. I rock, LOL! So I want my kid back bacUse she's cute now, and she's not yours anywayz!
Aylat'ani: Why didn't you just say that? We're really tired of her.
So Renesmee went back to where she belonged, in a big house with Reneé and Charlie. Bella was so jealous she didn't even want to be part of the family picture and turned her back.
Jonathan was pushing himself to the edge to be more like Ryan had been, back when he was sane and exceptionally brave. But Jonathan's only a kid.
Ryan could come home to visit again. Cindie made him practice chess, to develop the logical parts of his brain.
Ryan: I still have the blues for you, even if I live with lots of crazy girls and some of them are hot.
Bella was at the camp with Edward and her family. She was misrable.
Bella: Since Renesmee's been back Mom and Dad thinks she's soooo awesome and pretty and smart and better than me!
They're still enemies, but now they have an enemy in common. So they should be friends?
They kissed passionately in front of Bella's family. But they were too stupid to notice, LOL!
T'ana couldn't stop looking at his perfect face, his golden eyes, his rosy lips and majestic nose like a ski jump in Garmisch-Partenkirchen. If there was a more perfect man in existence she hadn't seen him yet.
T'ana: I know that you're sort of engaged to Bella, but since you're too young for a ring, maybe we should go steady?
Edward: I would go the ye ends of ye world for Thee Milady!
T'ana: Cool! Let's hit the town!
Iris fell out of the car, because T'ana was pretty crap at parking.
Nerniya: Where's Edwart?
T'ana: He's coming soon, he just had to do some stuff.
Irish: What if Bella comes?
Nernia: Then we beat her up like we do her sister.
The neon beach bar was super boring, so the kids went downtown.
Nerniya: Crypt O'Night?!? This place hasn't been cool since 2005!
Now it's 2205 in their world :)
William was still hanging arond. He doesn't care what is cool.
Iris: Are you like... a campire?
Count Knut: Yes! I became a vampire 200 years ago (in 2005), before vampires were supposed to be like Edward.
Iris: Why is your face blue? Have you forgotten to remove your contacts?
Count Knut: I HAVE NO IDEA WHOT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!
TigerAnne has tried to remove the default eyes that clash with her default vampire skin, but she can't find the file, and doesn't know what it's called. :(
Edward wasn't there, so the kids went to The House of Silent Despair. They got a shock when they saw that someone had totally opened an awesome gothclub there!
Esso the Assassin was htere.
A lady who was probably a witch was there.
They had to go home, though. Phil made fishfingers for dinner, because with so many partly English people in the house they needed a really English food. The twins told everyone about the cool new club, so Riana and Adana decided to come with them out.
T'ana: You can't dress like a cop there, because people will think we're your prisoners.
Bella: I'm totally stealing the paper. Has Phil made a weird loo or something? I'm glad he's not my Dad.
Brinna: Hi Nerniya. I'm not supposed to talk to you.
Alice's twin, who became head of the crazy family instead of Alice, was drinking with her cousin and thinking of the horrible injustices she would inflict on most of her kids.
And Buck was drinking because he was thinking of how much he hated old people.
T'ana: Why are you so angry?
Buck: Because the world is full of fakers!
They kind of looked good together. But she would have to get older before she dated him, and she loved Edward so anyway.
Ta'a took a long bath and thought of Edward.
Buck: You're a FAKER!
Adana: What do you mean?
He looked so angry Adana got a bit scared.
Buck: You dress like HER, so you are defenitely a faker like SHE is?
Adana: Who? Your ex?
Buck: Hoe DARE you say that she's my EX??!! That would mean that she used to be my GFF and that I used to LOVE her! HOW CAN YOU THINK I'M THE KIND OF PERSON WHO CAN LOVE SOMEONE LIKE THAT? DO YOU THINK I'M CRAZY OR SOMETHING. DO YOU THINK I'M A PSYCHO?? DOOOO YOU???
Adaba: No! Not at all!
Ethan had told her that when crazy people asked if you thought they were crazy, it wasn't a good idea to say yes. But she was really happy to see that there were boys who were more insane than the ones she liked.
Bella: Oh Edward, hold me! I'm so scared of that weird person!
"HELLO."
"HELLO."
Bella: Kiss me, Edward, like only you can!
Edward: I don't like it when weird people are watching us kiss. :(
Diaper Man: Okay, I know when I'm not wanted.
Nerniya met one of her Dad's friends, and asked how he was doing, etc.
Bella: Edward, I feel so guilty. I suspected you of having been out with that awful blonde lollicon again, but every time you kiss me I can feel that I'm the only one for you!
Edward: Bella, Milady! I would never love anyone like I love you! My love for you is special!
Diaper Man: Awful weather we're having.
Billy Pool: AAHAGAHGAHHAGAHAAA IT'S DIAPER MAN!!!!!!11!!
Diaper Man: I have a feeling I'll be going home alone tonight again.
Nerniya: Why are you so angry?
Adana: Because the world is full of people like HIM!
Downstair, Bella was washing the bath tub to prove she would be a good wife.
And Billy was really worred, because she had just been cured for a phobia of peas, and now she was scared of seeing giant babies.
Diaper Man: I'm gonna be an astronaut when I grow up.
Nobody saw Bella become a horrific creature of white flames in the disco.
Adana: You don't seem like a dangerous guy. I'm sorry for what my sister Liranda did to you.
Diaper Man: I don't know anyone named Liranda. You must be mistaken.
Edward was rocking it out like he was John Travolta, while Bella danced like a chicken.
T'ana almost peed herself.
Adana: Hmmm, this is mysteroius news...
It was so long since Riana had seen Maikana that it was kind of like meeting a stranger, only more awkward and awful. She really wanted to talk to her sister, but if William found out it would brake his heart.
Adana: I've heard that you're an archeologist. Do you want to come with us on a time travel, and find lots of dinosaurs that nobody has ever known about?
It was just like when they were kids again, and Mikaina was an annoying older sister.
Suddenly William was there, but luckily he was too distracted from seeing Diaper Man being real, and Riana grabbed and kissed him to keep him occupied.
Nerniya: Like... this much rum, and the rest coke!
She still drinks too much. It's almost like Liranda all over, only with more alcohol. :(
Bella: I'm not the favouritest kid anymore.
T'ana: How can that pale basic chick think Edward likes her?
Maikana: This is Lexester. He will help us start our secret cult!
Edward is an upgraded vampire, so he's not poisonous to garlic.
Diaper Man: I'm so intelligent nobody dares to play chess with me. :(
Adana: What's wrong with that guy?
DJ: NJJJJJAAAAAAGGGGGGGFFFFFFFF!
Lextester: I will steal the secret Ocarina of Power from the Sith temple, and our mission will prevail.
It was so late it was early, and the girls sat down to eat the delicious breakfast Edward had made.
Iris: There is garlix in this. Are you sure Edward is a vampure?
T'ana: Of course he's a vampire, but he only drinks blood from vedgetables.
William: Maikana we need to talk.
Bella was sucking up to Edward all stickiely. It was so disgusting it was a good thing T'ana couldn't see it.
Edward couldn't eat the breakfast, because he was allergic to gluten.
Bella Oh Edward you're so brave and selfless for feeding others before youself.
The skinny girl with long hair is called Geneva, and TigerAnne says she's definitely going to be a prettacy wife in some generation.
Maikana: It wasn't me who killed Legolas. And it wasn't Liranda or Tallie. He died by an accident, and Bertha Hortence tried to revive him but she lost because her heart isn't pure. She killed my mother, and pretends to be her. I've tried to tell Riana but she doesn't beleive me.
William: We've all had so mich tragedy in our family life.
Maikana: There are vengeful ghostas who want revenge. But we didn't kill them. Garrett killed himself, because he was a drunk moron. Then he killed Keven, who was a drunk moron. And Dad killed the Weatherman and lots of people, but he went back in time and saved them so they're not vengeful ghosts no more.
Riana relived the life when she was gothic. Moozart still brings her good memories. :)
Riana: I have to do the night shift, and look at lots of baby pics of Rennesmee. x( Please don't hang out with Ryan.
Adana: I wouldn't do anything wrong! You need to trust me, I'm your twin.
Ryan really wanted to give her a backrub, and she said yes because it made him happy.
Adana: Nobody cares when Cindie and Ben hang out!
Jonathan: PLEASE DON'T HIT ME I'M SUNBURNT!
Nerniya: No, I only wanted to apollogize. You're my brother and I don't want to be your enema. Sometimes a dark force forces me to be mean to you. I don't get it.
Jonathan: I wish we can be froends again too.
Ryan: I'm so proud of U kids your smart like you're Dad, Huehuehuehuehue!
Jonathan: We need to be friends for Dad's sake.
They played together and tried to remember that they were family, to expell dark forces from their minds.
The dark witch put on a show on their poarch, of “Wicked”.
She had identified with Elphaba ever since she weren't allowed to play her in high school.
OH NO IS HE GONNA EXPLODA AGAIN?!? Ah phew he only got thin.
The brainwash was so strong. :(
Who was trying to sabbotache their time machine? The suspectes were sooo manU.
Nerniya: I bet it was Jackup!
Ryan: I want to be just like you when I grew up!
This is their chrystal ball. :D
Ryan: ARRGH you're not Adana!!!
He still wants to be in their super-heroic quest, so he tried to face up to his teenaged trauma.
Now he can do fan-service again, and maybe Adana will date him on the side, he thinks. X(
And now: Something a LOT better than Hawaii 5-O!
Da-ta-ra-ta daa-daa!
Da-ta-ra-ta daaaaaaaa!
Da-ta-ra-ta daa-daa! Da-ta-ra-ta daaaaaaaa!
Daaa-da-ta-ra-ta da-ra-ta-daaaa! Daaa-da-ta-ra-ta da-ra-ta-daaaa!
Da-ta-ra-ta daa-daa! Da-ta-ra-ta DAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Cindrana worried lots about her kids becoming even more screwey than thei're Dad.
Aylatani missed her lost original children, and hoped she and Phil could copy them one day. When they build more of their house with more rooms. Or someone gets killed by Edgar and dinosaurs. They would have twins named Miranda and Sierra, and a girl called Tianna.
Laurelin: I have lived on Jupiter in the future, and that was very boring. Now I want to go to Victrojan London and get Dickson's autograph and maybe get him to tell me the ending to Edwin Drood.
T'ana saw Edwart at school, and rushed to meet him. They embraced passionately, and she kissed him all sexily to show Bella who was boss.
Bella: Edwark, what are you doing, LOL?
Wilandra the Psycho: BELLA AND T'ANA ARE GONNA FIIIIGHT!
Bella: Edward, what was that about. We need to talk about our relationship! Edward, are you listning???!
All the hormonal kissing in the room made Edward a bit distracted.
Jacob's brain-implant still worked on Nerniya, even if he had broken her heart and made her evil to her family.
Ashleigh, who was Student Representative, tried to stop there from being more violence.
Kenvin had bad taste in girls because of puperty.
Wilandra the Psycho-babe liked him. x)
T'ana: I need to talk to Edwhat and stop this Bella-nonsense.
T'ana: Bella, Edward loves ME not YOU.
She grabbed and kissed Edward of all her heart. It was sooo much fun to show her pure true love for Edward right in Bella's ugly face. She closed her eyes and got swept up in the magical moment, and she could feel Bella reach critical mass behind her back, and she started laughing so she couldn't kiss. x)
Meanwhile, Iris was skipping her awful school again. Suddenly... Something TERRIBLE happened!!!
Bella: Edward, I love you most. Let's show that blonde bunny-bimbo who are the true lovers here!
T'ana: EDWARD WHAT ARE YOU DOING??? HOW COULD YOU??? YOU DON'T EVEN LOVE BELLA YOU JUST DON'T WANT DISEASTER!!! STOP KISSING HER!!!!!++!!!
Bella: Now I've given him my true love's pure kiss of Eternity, and that means we're forever love. >:) He can't love anyone else now, because I saw in the crystal bawl that this was how to do it. Now the awful prophecy won't come true, because he loves me. And T'ana you can go eat a slug.
T'ana was so mad and sad and shocked and outraged and scandalized she didn't even know what to say. It was as if her mind had been replaced with only red-hot blaxing coals.
T'ana: I HATE YU BOTH AND I NEVER EVER WANNA SEE YOU AGAIN YOU UGLY KOMEI-FACED CHEATER! WHY DID YOU KISS BELLA WHEN YOU COULD HAVE HAD MEEE? I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, EXCEPT I HOPE YOU'RE REALLY MISERABLE BECAUSE I'LL NEVER TALK TO YOU AGAIN!!!!
Bella laughed and walked preppily away to class.
T'ana was so depressed she skipped school for the rest of the week, and went to the House of Silent despair. Iris and Nernuya came with her to cheer her up. Orca's Mom made spaghetti.
Duckman Junior was out in his underpants.
And Liranda was dancing in bright lights.
Iris: This is your grandmother Liranda. You've never seen her before. She's my sister, who Mom hates. I think we need to make them be friends again, because it's been a long time and Mom's not really Bertha Hortence. I will prove to everyone that Bertha is a completely different person, who we don't live with. She wanted plastic surgary, and they put her ugly face on Mom. I bet she runs around with Mom's beautiful face out there, somewhere. Mayne we can do like John Travolta in that film, and steal her face back!
Liranda: I'm so proud that my little sister is so intelligent.
Adana came to party after work. She was happy that she could be friends with Loranda again with no secrets.
Here is Wolfman Senior. He's angry about having lost all his fur in the mange, but TigerAnne has downloaded a medicine to grow his fur back.
Riana was there, and she was smooching with William.
Luranda: You're almost grown up now. We're going to the Victorian Centuries, so we hope we'll see Mom and them there, and we can explain everything. A friend of mine will come and tell you what to do. Then you can forget all about Jacob and Edward, who are tossers.
Nerniya: Did you read all this in the book of prophecies?
Liranda: Yes, it's never wrong.
Nerniya: Oh no, what do YOU want you ugly maggot?
Edward: Don't listen to them, Bella my love. I'm NIT ugly. And you're hot and I love you.
Liranda: Don't look at them Nernuiya! They're repulsive!
T'ana: OH HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII, BELLA........!!!
T'ana: I have waited for this moment! :D
She threw herself at Bella, and violenced her of all of her might.
The savageness Jacob had planted in her brain (he imprinted on her too, remember) had backfired and now she was using it on BELLA.
The anger made her so strong she threw Bella right through the wall. They could hear something shatter, which was either the drywall, or both of Bella's legs, or all of the above.
Wolfman Senior, Lezter and Asterix were out of there, because they were too old for all this high-school drama. Adana thought it was sooooo cool, though.
They had some drinks to celebrate that they could solve some enemy-problems.
They had many drinks.
Bella: They say you're like... sooo pretty and all, but you're kind of ugly when you're all crosseyed like that.
Adana: You're ALWAYS ugly, and tomorrow I'll be sober again. Plus you're stupid. You don't even know who Churchill was.
Yaaaah, I've been taking history class. YAY!
Bella: I know your family is known for violince.
Adana: Shut up, I've got a hangover! And at least I'm not 16 and have been out drinking all night before a maths test!
Riana was still so drunk she started flirting with an imaginary William, LOL!
Adana: Look, Bella. Your palesbury doughboy is here.
Bella: Don't make fun of his sensitive skin!
Brice: Heeey! We've gotten our time maching working too! See you in the 1800s!
Nerniya: We're gunna save the planet from extinctions!
Orca's Mom: All the wales too?
Nerniya: Of course! You can come.
On the beach at home, the misty outline of a mysterious stranger was appearing near one of the decimated sandcastles.
Misty Stranger: This is the right place. They have made the signs.
A bright blue and purple light flashed around him as he materialized in awesome glory.
It was......................................................................................... DUMBLEDORE!!!!1!1!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Um, wow... How will this turn out. Meaning, how long will Dumbledore keep his famous cool, not to mention his sanity, surrounded by this bunch. We'll see. I hope you've enjoyed this bumpy ride this far. Generation 4 is drawing to a close, and Gen5 is the one in which I'm supposed to move the Legacy to another time periode, with minimal effort. I've... got some stuff planned, but probably not the ending to Edwin Drood.
Smell ya later, Homeypies!
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Date: 2015-12-16 05:41 pm (UTC)Renesmee (I'm going to cut and paste her name, so I get it right more)
Probably a good idea. It would be a pain to type that over and over.
The twins' taste in clothing is...uh...well...is. :D
That's a bit more romantic than imprinting and saying "You have to love me 6ever, duuuurrrrrr!"
Agreed. Very much. Stephenie Meyer once said that her stories were about choice, but to me they seemed more like the lack thereof. A lot of writers have said that ever since J.K. Rowling said it.
I really love the candles on the beach, by the way. Pretty!
Renesmee: You look so stupid, like you're trying to poop your pants or something.
Ben didn't care. He danced like nobody was wathcing and when you do that, you don't usually look as glamorous as you think you do. My sister got really mad when I posted the video on Facebook.
XD
THE TWINS HAVE BEEN INFECTED BY BRIANNA'S BRUSTALITY!!!! :O:O:D
Duckman Junior and Wolfman Junior are the same people. They're on Annablelle's side, not on Jacon's.
Good to know. Wolfman Beau in his gamer career clothes FTW! And yay, he finally got hit by lightning! He's still waiting for that to happen in my game.
But he regrets what he has done, so he used the time machine to a test-run, and went back and saved all his victims from himself, so now he's not a murderer anymore. :D
Well, that is just...awesome! Hopefully he didn't see himself saving his victims from himself, because that could seriously mess up the space-time continuum.
I like Adana's new hairstyle!
So Renesmee went back to where she belonged, in a big house with Reneé and Charlie. Bella was so jealous she didn't even want to be part of the family picture and turned her back.
May Renesue find peace...but only if Bellasue lets her. I love Renee's dialogue. It's so random.
DIAOER MAN!!!!1!1111!!!!! EEEEEEEEE! PERFECT!
Diaper Man: I have a feeling I'll be going home alone tonight again.
Can't imagine why. :D
Maikana: There are vengeful ghostas who want revenge. But we didn't kill them. Garrett killed himself, because he was a drunk moron. Then he killed Keven, who was a drunk moron. And Dad killed the Weatherman and lots of people, but he went back in time and saved them so they're not vengeful ghosts no more.
Reading this, it occurs to me that Aylatoni has interesting taste in men.
I know where Nerniya is coming from. If I had a brother, I wouldn't want to be his enema, either. Eww.
Duckman Junior was out in his underpants.
lool! That's Beau, all right. The less clothing, the truer to nature.
Adana: Look, Bella. Your palesbury doughboy is here.
XD XD XD Really, Bella and Edward deserve each other. So long, Twilight characters! This was probably the most interesting you've ever been.
DUBBLEDORK APPEARS!!! This will be good.
You know, sometimes I read the Starbloos and think, "How does she come up with this fantastically goofy stuff?" I mean, this would be ridiculous if it were meant to be serious, but in parody/comedy, it's gold. Were Exchange stories really this crazy?
Oh, and I gotta show you something. Taken just yesterday. Jackie has been reading too much of the Starbloom saga lately. XD
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Date: 2015-12-16 07:50 pm (UTC)You know... I actually used to have a friend who communicated almost in the same way Renée does, AKA laughing like a hyena while spewing stuff that would have been hilarious if it hadn't been so horrifying. Renée's not based on the real life person, but yeah, I know someone who's legit that level of stupid and insensitive. I've met a lot of weird people, but she really takes home the prize.
Diaper Man's dating life is probably even sadder than Aylatani's used to be. And yeah, her taste in men is actually located up her bum.
Poor Jackie. I've corrupted a young mind! :(
I don't know how I come up with it all, really. One part of it is environmental damage, because I've read faaar to much badfic. On the other hand, TigerAnne is a person with a very crazy imagination, a great big lack of maturity and the humor of a 12-year-old boy.
As for the Exchange-stories... There were some actually really good stories on there. Then there was a lot of half-decent stuff that got abandoned just when it started getting interesting. There was a HUGE amount of boring dribble, that showed a serious lack of effort. That was probably the main category. And then... Then there was the really weird stuff, which came in so many flavours that I could write a series of long posts about it. Most of the long-runners were nowhere near this level of deranged, and most of those that were as batshit insane as this rarely got past the second chapter. Honourable mention goes to "Slave", which was being updated for years, and among other things had Mars crashing into Earth, missing the main characters by 3 inches. There's also a STILL ACTIVE series of Sim-movies, which has gotten infamous for its use of children in adult roles.
I'll admit that Narrator's earliest narrative style was more or less copied from a really bad story from just last year. This generation has mostly moved away from that style, and drawn inspiration from an incredible fanfic called Forbiden Fruit - The Tempation of Edward Cullen. You google that on your own risk, but I'll sum up the highlights:
The main character is a "goth" called Atlantiana, mostly referred to as Tiana and Tia'a. She's been put in foster care with a couple of really daft and gullible people called Dave and Marie, because her mother died giving birth to her, and nobody knows who her father is. Tia'a describes herself as being tall and very skinny, with "relay" big boobs, and her hair is usually referred to as "a cloud of golden mist", or something like that. It's silvery blonde, with black, magenta and electric-blue streaks. She usually goes to school missing most of her clothes. This is how she's dressed when she first meets Edward:
Loads of people freaking stared at me as I walked down the hall. I was wearing tight black leather pants with silver chains at the waste and a red fishnet-like top and you could see my black lacy bra through it. I ignored whispers and the big pink cheerleader imbosils pointing at me.
She then sees Edward in the cafeteria, but Bella's got her arms "dripped around him like some freaking flesh-eathing plant," and Tia'a gathers that he's taken. Edward, however, is instantly mesmerized by Tia'a, and more or less assaults her in the hallway. That passage deserves to be featured in its completeness.
To be continued...
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Date: 2015-12-23 07:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-12-23 08:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2015-12-25 03:31 pm (UTC)Finally got around to reading that fic: that was amazing. I loled. This one majorly sets off my trollfic radar; so much so that I can't believe how many of the comments seem to be taking it completely seriously. Too bad it hasn't been updated since 2010.
It makes me hope people don't take The Worst Legacy You'll Ever Read as my attempt at writing a good sims story... Hopefully the title is enough to clue them in.
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Date: 2015-12-25 04:43 pm (UTC)I would think that the Writer Legacy is self-deprecating enough that nobody would think it was fer sarz.
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Date: 2015-12-16 07:51 pm (UTC)"thee DID notice me then?" he purred with a sly grin. I was up against the wall with his face right close to me now. He wanted to sex me I could tell, and suddenly he was kissing me! I felt like my slim legs would break in half and my heart expanded like a big balloon. I fell his hand sliding softly down my neck an underneath my top. He stoked my breasts for a few minutes and his man-carrot standing in action and hard as a rock against my legs. And then he ripped my top and pulled it of me and doped it on the floor. We made out for 10 minutes and then he tried to take of my bra but I pushed him away suddenly thinking WTF Tiaa are you just gonna let this total stranger take your cloths off in school where anyone could see you? I'd never let a guy kiss me before or touch me and suddenly I was letting this cheating sicko with a FRICKIN GF grope me just cause he was uber hawt with sexoy hair and cold as death! I was acting like a biatch and a slut and I was suddenly very ashamed of my actions.
-BASTARD! Never touch me again!" i gapsed
"If thou thinks thou can keep thou hands of me!" he answered all smug, and I couldn't believe how he made me feel so angry and so aroosed at the same time. At that moment I'd never HATED anyboy more in my whole life and the worst part of it was he was SO FREAKIN HAWT I was totally creaming my panties and he NEW it, this was horible! I felt disguised with myself and turned to leave.
"Wait! I need to speck to thee! I no your secret tiaa"he said in a quiet voce gassing into my eyes "your one of my kind. who made thee ?are you part of a coven or on thou own?
"what-is said sharply -dude your insane! And you freakin SMELL! (he didnt really smell but I didnt no what else to say!)
"thy a CAMPIRE tia! a VAMPIRE! BUT WHY CAN'T I READ THOU MIND? I THOUGHT BELLA WAS THE ONLY ONE BUT HERE THOU ARE! WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEEEEAN!"
He punched the wall with his buckly fist and shouted suddenly furious and his eyes flickered red. I schlepped him hard across the face and tried to leave but he caught my waste and as I struggled and tried to hit him again he caught my hand in mid air and hammed me against the wall where his hand had already made a huge dint in the wall. His face was blunt and right heavy in mine. My knee came up hard against his massive throbbing gigglestick between his legs and he drubbed over in pan. I broke free and goaded my books and started rugging away to math, but edward hand finished with me.
"TIAAAAAAAAAAA NOOOOOOOOO!" he screamed after me tearing his shrit of himself in fury and throwing it over my eyes. I lost my sight and was behind me breathing into my ears.
"i'm sorry tiaa" he wimpered sadly picking me up off the floor and gazing mutely into my eyes "i didnt mean to rut thee! I'm so contemptuos! I APOLOGIZE! THIS IS JUST SO WEIRD!"
"YOUR so frickin weird you mean!" I snaped whitely as he lay on the floor so hawt and crying with his shirt off with his pippling body. I wanted to forgive him for calling me a vampire (VAMPIRE! I'd heard that one before from preppy losers asking if I sleep in a coffin and suck blood like LETSAT just cause I like eyeliner and listen to Linken Park)and making fun of me and trying to force me against the wall and maybe plunder my crevises but i didnt. I left him crying on the floor and went to find my class. As I entered math class i suddenly droped my bocks again as a flashing pain burned in my left hand as my brithmark glinted gold for a second (NO JOKE!) then I fell over. The pain was suddenly gone and some weirdo blond freak called Eric was helping me up and staring at me like a pervo rapist. I kicked him in the sholder (kung fu babie!)as he gazed longingly after me. In his frickin dreams. I sat down at the back of the class unable to think about anythin but my weird enconter with edward cullen, wondering what it all could mean.
STILL too long? Okay, then!
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Date: 2015-12-16 07:52 pm (UTC)The whole passage is amazing. Anywhooo, Tia'a is a Sue, so she needs to suffar. Dave and Marie leave town, and Tia'a gets to be babysat by Uncle Larry, who's fat and bald and a raepist, because of course he is. Tia'a has a vision of her father, Caius of the Volturi, who tells her not to sleep with Edward. That is of course one of the first things she does, turning her into a vampire. Edward's penis is described as a "mancarrot" and "man-fruit-thing," and apparently it's purple. She goes home and drinks Uncle Larry's blood.
There's also a talking panda called Snoofles, who at first seems to be a cute and fluffy animal companion. However, Snoofles ends up having sex with Jasper, and a guy called Vincent who gave the story a bad review, in the back of a car driven by a really drunk and high Tia'a. Jacob, whose penis looks like a horrible wet mushroom, takes her prisoner, but Edward busts down the door, and the story ends.
I'm sorry that you're now aware of the existance of this story. :(
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Date: 2015-12-16 09:33 pm (UTC)Eww. I never wanted to think about Edward's mancarrot. Which is purple. Yes, but does ist sprakle like frozen winter snoe? Nonono! Brain bleach! No Eddiekins, thanks! Edward's penis shouldn't even be functional, even in Twilight canon, because Meyer said they have no heartbeat and therefore no circulation. Which makes you wonder why the hell they even need blood. I'm still thinking of Edward's purple carrot, aren't I? :(
You know, if I were a published author, I would neverneverNEVER read fan fiction about my characters just because of crap like this! I don't think I'd ever be able to look at my characters again. X)
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Date: 2015-12-16 10:39 pm (UTC)Forbiden Fruit is generally assumed to be a trollfic. Thank goodness.
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Date: 2015-12-16 11:48 pm (UTC)Cool. I'll just enjoy the Strazblomps because it's not overly vulgar. I can only take vulgar in small doses. :D